Sam C.

Making Work Distinctively My Own

I really have trouble with that statement because it represents the major block I face when it comes to making art, it is what stops me from doing……

So, for week seven I started out writing the meanderings of my thoughts based on the concept of ‘what so I care about?’ My purpose was to see what my random thoughts might reveal about me! I seem to spend a lot of time thinking about others and not really taking time to consider my own position. I think that it why last week’s getaway resonated so deeply for me.

It is now week eight and I am finally writing this piece up to submit.

Revelations –

I care a lot about people. People are what I get passionate about. Where others go to new places to see the scenery and landmarks, I want to learn about culture and the people. I hurt when others hurt, I cry with them, I love them easily, even the unlovable, and I am genuinely interested in listening to them.

For week seven I went to a life drawing class, which is the first practical class I have been to for years. I was a lot out of practice but that was part of the challenge, to stop watching the telly and go and do some art. I have an artist friend who is interested in helping me be accountable and she told me about the group. It fitted right into those meandering thoughts I had had in the beginning of the week.

I had a secret desire to create a portrait or work that would be worthy of selection for the Archibald Prize, which is a prestigious portrait prize here in Australia. In the past two years that desire has been fading and I’m not sure why. Except to say that I can hear that committee voice of self-doubt and skepticism speaking softly in the recesses “Who would want to buy portraits?” and “You can’t make money out of that unless you’re famous or you know someone famous.”

I started a business two year ago with a vision of creating unique garments, wearable art, made from fair trade fabrics and using ethical practices. So far it hasn’t evolved much beyond the vision, mainly because I am studying and I need an income because I don’t have enough money to be self-supportive while I grow a business.

Now I reflect of these two very different desires and I ask how do they relate to one another? Do they relate or even have to? Should I be trying to choose one over the other? I really need some help and answers here because I keep coming up against this and the struggle I have in trying to balance them, failing to and then I feel that I have blocked myself again….does this make any sense?