Janis D. - Part Two


My muse rocks! It’s all clear – not exactly sudden insight but it all just coalesced into a clear, consistent vision!

Maelstrom – the piece I just finished. It made it all clear as a bell for me.  Not quite the direction I thought I was going in and not quite how I thought about it but oh, so obvious. 

Speak Your Idea

My art spoke to me [giggle]. 

This daily writing is doing it! Throughout my life, one of the most important things in all my life’s work has been to trust myself.  Yet, it’s also one of the things I’ve had to keep reminding myself to do.

In my younger life, I was always surrounded by friends that I could, and frequently did, talk with. I always felt that it was through conversations, mostly with my women friends, that I would go ‘round whatever the issues at hand were, as one circles a wagon;  then, often suddenly arrive at a solution to the problem – just through the process of talking and thinking and hearing myself say things that hadn’t even occurred to me before.

In these later years, I have no friends that I see often.  One friend I do see from time to time hates abstract art and when she views it her feelings of distaste are all over her face. My ex-husband is perhaps the only one who I can even talk about it with and he’s color blind so it’s hard to decipher what he actually sees. Most of my closest friends don’t live near me now. And others are immersed with their own lives and grandchildren, and even if my more local old friends were more available, I might as well be speaking Vulcan with them. So it turns out that in my new writing practice I’ve found a new friend – myself!  This now becomes the way for me to speak my ideas, formulate my thoughts and hear them articulated – in other words, I’m listening to myself once again!

What Matters To You?

I’ve been feeling “claustrophobic or scattered before we’ve [I’ve] even started.” But not because I fear anything; rather because my house is making me feel that way.  Just the thought that I have a plan to deal with it and that there’s a path in place now to alleviate this problem, I feel freed up again to turn my focus back to my art practice. THAT matters!  My feelings matter! And because I was denying them, I was frustrated and unable to see my way clear of them.  

At the same time, I finished my piece, Maelstrom and when I looked at it after finishing it, I was astonished that it so vividly expressed what I had been feeling: it described a liminal state; in this case, one of both emotional and physical chaos. Clear as well was the lack of conclusion or solution, although it speaks to a nexus to change.     

The Heart Chakra Embraces The Idea

So here I am, at the THRESHOLD of change once again in my life.  I’ve inhabited this space before. I know it well. I understand the state of being that I’m in from experience and I’m looking forward to continuing my work on this series that Maelstrom unwittingly began: Liminal States And The Thresholds To Change.