Carla D.

This has been a week of fighting a cold or "forced rest".  But when I read the essay about limitations, I had to smile because I have been cleaning out closets and organizing fabrics this year.  My studio still needs more work but clearing out what I don't need in my life is rejuvenating.

In 2002 I started a new job and my husband was laid off of a good paying job.  It took almost two years before he found another position.  By then we had sold our house and were living in an apartment. With the new job, my husband had good health insurance just in time for me to have my cancerous thyroid gland removed and radiation.  After going through that, we decided to look for another house.  I found one in an area that we had walked in wishing that we could live there.  We bought and closed on it but had not moved in when my husband was laid off without any notice.  It was April Fools day.  I felt completely devastated, lost, scared and angry. I'm writing all this because of what I learned from this experience. 

I learned to trust that we would be OK. I learned that we really didn't need a lot of stuff.  I learned to be grateful for what we had and not be sad about what we had lost.  At this moment in time, we are more than OK and our marriage is stronger than ever.  My studio is small, but it works just fine.  Also, I developed a way of working that is my own.  I use small pieces of fabric held together with thread as the first layer of my quilts.  I have found that I don't need a lot of fabric to make these pieces, so I don't need a lot of money or equipment to make art.

But I also learned that developing a new skill isn't enough. I needed content so the essay this week was very helpful.  I sat down and started writing and came up with enough content to last a long time.  I also cut up three small quilts that I "hated".  I used what I had learned from cutting up those black squares in week two.  I am much happier with the outcome and will finish them.  As I began cutting, I noticed the inner critic rearing up but was able to keep going because it didn't matter if I was "doing it right".  I was going to throw these pieces away anyway so what did I have to lose?

I'm including photos of unfinished quilts that I cut up.