Sue W.

Stumbling blocks- Part 2

REVELATION - My mother told me this story – when I was at school the Head Teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said I wanted to be myself, the Head Teacher replied “Come come my dear surely you can do better than that.”

And this has haunted me – and I labeled myself, Art Teacher, Painter, Business Person, Textile Artist etc. – So I have a label which is part of my identity – my reason for being - just being myself was not good enough, this I guess in turn led to wanting constant approval…

When introduced to people I subscribed to this label.  And I worked hard trying to achieve this approval, constantly (I felt) being judged by everybody (the committee), and petrified that my work was not living up to this label – was not good enough.

Now reading and thinking about this committee, this outside judgment, which could be any one of the people I worked with, I realise what was happening, it is alright just to be myself – in fact that is what it is, and my work is my work, nobody else’s to judge. No Head Teacher to say you can be better than yourself and no mother to keep repeating this story

WHAT A LIBERATION – BE MYSELF                                               

Produce work without outside judgment – which of course is just in my head I now realize.

AND FINALLY I LOVE TAPESTRY WEAVING and stop being diverted to other art practices for the fear of not being good enough