Kerstin E.

The enemies of creativity

This weeks exercise has been very hard for me. It is a challenge to think about the different things that stop you from doing things you like and feel good about doing. 

One part of my Committee consists of people very close to me, mother and husband. They are kind persons but maybe does not take my creative side so serious, more that it is some sort of play. But the main reason for this is maybe to be found within myself. I studied law and have always worked very hard in my “bread-earning job". And I like my job. My family have been proud of me and my job career. And I have been a “good girl” who have liked to make my mother and father proud of me. And then I am in a circle, do what you are good at and get praise. But I also like the other side, the creativity, that has not had so much place in my life. It can be hard for me to find time for both sides and that is one of my struggles. 

Another part of the Committee is some artistic people that have been my teachers or been with me at workshops. There can be a tendency when people get to know what I do for a living that they do not take me serious in making art. “You know she does this as a hobby, she is not serious ……… “ I have not found the right way to cope with that. One way is that I seldom talk so much about my other work. At the same time I can feel it strange that a teacher, a retired person or person with a less academic work does not get the same reaction. They can both have their work and be serious in their art. But many people in my surroundings don´t seem to think that art can be serious when you work with law. I have not yet figured out why people think that serious creativity then is excluded. If someone could explain that to me it would maybe be easier to handle. 

And then there is that part of the Committee that is my inner voice. The voice that tell you that you are not good enough. I have worked some with that voice and it is not so strong anymore.

Then there is the Committee/inner voice that makes me procrastinate. "You will do things better tomorrow, you will do things better if you but the right pen first, you will do things better if you read that book, you will do things better if you spend an evening on the internet looking for others work." And then I have spent my precious time without any work on my own. 

So my main enemies are

- lack of time

- people who does not take me serious when they know what I do for a living

- my inner voice

- my tendency to procrastinate. 

My strategy will be to do MORE work with the tools at hand and make room in my agenda for creative work as well as other tasks. And then I try to rule the Committee out.

Not only the thinking has been hard this week. This sort of “deeper” things are also in some ways harder to express on a language that is not your native language. Hope what I have written makes some sort of sense for you.