I don’t think anyone is on my committee right now. At least I don’t see any faces, hear any voices or smell any scents. There have been some doozies as I think back on my life and the most memorable was my mother…and oh yes, then there was that husband. It took some counseling to learn how to live my own life and keep from getting trampled. I can’t say that I loved my mother; the damage was overwhelming. And, had I loved my husband less it would have been a lot easier to shake him off my “committee”. I tuned out a lot of the criticism that came my way until tuning out no longer worked. Fear of failing in life’s most basic accomplishments like filial devotion and being a good wife stunted my growth as a person. I managed to hang on and accomplish some goals such as graduating from college after getting married and having my first baby but I compromised on many aspects of my education in order to accomplish it and didn’t even attend my graduation.
My creative leaps in life came at times when I was the most down in the dumps. Acreative muse I NEVERknew I had popped up and rescued me when I was 29. She has been my inner voice, my pep club and my tribe ever since.
There are times I don’t hear her; times when I get tangled up in situations where I find myself unable to see what’s actually going on. Those are times when things shift and I revert back to being unsure. Times when an unsuspected person makes it onto my committee. I am getting wiser about all this stuff. Flash points are more recognizable. I am carefully cultivating new bonds and friendships with other self-actualizing creators whose interests overlap with mine. Cultivating a tribe rather than drifting into one is, I hope a good way to keep from being involved with the committee process.
Well, I should have waited a day before I sent out this lesson. Obviously there was a bit of selective memory going on yesterday.
My big stumbling block is a killer. I can’t get around the issue of having my work turned down when I venture out to sell it. I can sell anything I believe in but trying to push my work through third parties in order to peddle it is gruesome. To me, selling my art is part of the cycle of creating it. I do not suffer from modesty when it comes to evaluating my work but finding the right market in which to present it is my weak link. I step back from the effort each time I strike out with a new prospect. I can see that I set myself up for this cycle of “thanks but no thanks…your work doesn’t fit in here etc.”…
I realize that the buyer/ gallery owner/ manager etc. gets to sit on my committee because of my inability to approach the right market in the first place. It’s up to me to figure out a way to neutralize the negative impact.