I have fallen behind already, no big surprise…that’s why I’m here after all. I constantly struggle to eek out the time and the head space I need to create. This week the world won and my rebel lost, again. It’s weird, I’m so capable of breaking rules but so far I’ve been unable to break the ones that allow my to ring-fence MY time.
I’ve mixed feelings about this exercise. I didn’t really want to do it, it seemed so far removed from the work I want to make that I didn’t begin with gusto. I basically just fiddled about without putting myself under too much pressure to make something good or clever or interesting. The rebel that I know is in there somewhere revealed herself and I combined the two into one. I started to enjoy myself then in a more playful way.
But…this is where I get slightly worried and hence the mixed feelings. I could easily spend a whole day moving bits of black paper around a page to see the various compositions that are possible and quite enjoy myself. On one hand I see this as part of what makes me creative. I actually care about moving bits of black paper around a page! I actually care about finding the composition most pleasing to me! On the other hand I worry that I get caught up in moments like this…moments that can last many hours. I lament the fact that I’m not as productive as I’d like to be. Could this kind of behaviour be what’s stopping me or is it what makes me an artist?