I’m having a very crazy week and feeling badly about not having more time to put into this week’s assignment. I’m trying not to beat myself up over not creating sufficient space for making, specifically, for not making the expanded square. Although I did make time for an art workshop this weekend that exposed me to soldering jewelry charms, something totally outside my experience and comfort zone. I found myself repeating the mantra my yoga teacher gave me: I am attempting something difficult and I appreciate myself for trying.
I also spent time this week thinking about the reading and can at least comment on that.
The last two lines of the ‘God Says Yes to Me’ poem — “What I’m telling you in Yes Yes Yes” — spoke to me. I heard: Wide open skies, no limits, boundless potential. It’s okay to be afraid, but it’s not necessary. There is a safety net beneath you; you are protected. (Where did all that come from?)
The directive to engage my Rebel energy and protect the time that isn’t co-opted by higher priorities prompted me to ask myself: When will I make making my higher priority? If not now, WHEN?? the reminder that I just need to “open the door and walk into the room” spoke to me on a metaphorical level as well as a literal level. I know that I need to clear a space in my mind that will allow me to exercise that Rebel energy without worrying about how crazy it looks to other people. For me, now, that could come down to as radical a move as leaving my lucrative job with state retirement benefits to become a freelance writer (the opportunity has been offered to me) with very little pay and no benefits. But I’d be doing what I love and I’d free up space in my head to let the Actor-Detective-Networker-Scholar-Storyteller-Artist-Seeker-Student-Seer soar. If not now, WHEN???