Summer L.

Dear Jane and class,

I know that I don't owe you an apology but here is one anyway. I don't have a tidy summation of my experience and beautiful list of intentions, even though I would value each of those things very much. 

Two events of this past week have shaped my experience in a way in which I did not intend. First, I was deeply affected by the mass killing in Orlando, Florida last week. Second, I started studying for a real estate license as a way to provide financial support for myself. The decision to start a new career in real estate has been a crushing blow to my spirit.

I don't have anyone in my life that is telling me "you are an artist, you must create art." I don't have a body of work that would whisper to the world, "see, I AM an artist." All I have is a burning desire to create that will not go away, no matter how distracted I may be. 

It seems to me that this must be the heart of creative stamina. When things feel dark, when despair or frustration or fear or aggravation or anger or feeling nothing at all comes to the surface so much easier than joy or even satisfaction, continuing to hold fast to that inner voice. 

So my intention for today is just this: to continue. To continue to play with fiber (yes, play for playing makes all things better). To continue to develop skills. To continue to make things that are pleasing to me. To continue to know that somehow, some way I will carve out time and space for creating art. To continue to believe that it is possible...and important. 

Thank you so much for sharing this journey with me.